I'm in the midst of a the deepest photographic hiatus I've ever struggled with, just now. Although I carry a camera with me daily, I can't remember the last time I took it out of the bag. I've been having a look through my hard drive for some spark of inspiration but it's had the opposite effect; I cannot believe how much crap I've taken down the years. I'm seriously tempted to scrap it all, flog my gear and go do something else. So little of what I've taken has any interest or artistic merit in my eyes. It's documentary, at best. And yet, in a few years, after I'm back to being dust, someone might be interested - not in me of my failed attempts to produce something worth looking at from an artistic standpoint - but just what life was like in the UK in the from where I stood in the years I've been photographing and keeping what I shot.
I guess we all know these doubts and I hope that I found my way now. I simply don't care anymore if others like my pictures, I do them for myself. On the other hand I always loved to photograph people since I got my first camera. And I liberally give away prints of these shots. It's one reason why I scan my negs and have the pictures printed for very little money. I simply don't want to spend hours, days, weeks ... in the darkroom and also couldn't afford to make so many silverprints on baryta paper. I know many of those prints will be lost, but many will also survive some decades at least. But my main impetus is to take pictures, no matter whether they are artistic or whatever and if others like them.
I also shot a lot of meaningless pics, not worth to keep. Now I shoot a lot less than 5 or 10 years ago, and try to concentrate on the subjects I like and which please me. But still I try to have a camera with me allways, I missed too many great opportunities when I had no camera with me.
Finally I'm still vain enough to talk about these things. And I love shooting film. Don't ask me why.
Just another technical side note: since I "scan" my negs with a DSLR, bellows and Rodagon lens, I almost gave up shooting color neg film. BW is so easy, I love it so much and "hybrid" combines the best of 2 worlds (analogue and digital of course). A HQ 5x7" silverprint on Kodak Royal matte paper from one of the biggest labs here coasts me 15 Euro-Cents. 8x12": 49 Euro-Cents, 12x18" for 2,49 Euro. They do it with a quality consitency that I can't achieve at home. Although it's color paper, the bw look is just perfect.
Remember: nothing lasts forever.
